A Little Alive

You broke up with me, in my Camp Cope tee
On a Wednesday night, now I can’t breathe
And I’ve spent more money on fuel than food
It’s a Saturday and I should be with you
I could go for a swim but I’m not in the mood
I kept your keys on the bench in the kitchen
I’m a little alive but this feels like fiction
I’ve been ordering in and I’m living in socks
I got a text from your mum, wished me well and it sucks
I’ve been wearing your jumper and it’s heavy and soft
I really should send it back but I’ve been putting it off
I know our dads got sick and you got scared
I haven’t slept all week since you mentioned her
I think you’re just afraid to be alone
But how you leave says a lot
Now you’re not someone I need to know
She said, «wait for me before you take down the tree, next year it’s us,
just you and me»
You know I bought that fucking tree for you
I wish you’d talk to me, but this is nothing fucking new
You treated me to a call in the days of your leaving
I said love is choice, but you think it’s a feeling
And maybe it’s both, but I’m sick of believing
That everyone will treat me how I treat them
I remember you told me you miss Summer Liv
But I don’t want your love unless it lives through seasons
And I never expected you to leave like you did
But I guess I assumed you’d give me a reason
I’m just a little alive
(but this feels like fiction)
I’m just a little alive
(but it’s lighting me up)
I know our dads got sick and you got scared
I haven’t slept all week since you mentioned her
I think you’re just afraid to be alone
But how you leave says a lot
Now you’re not someone I need to know