Hey there, how you doing. My name’s Zach and I’m 30
I shower once every three days so there’s a good chance that I’m dirty
I’m a workaholic mental case. I bite my fingernails until they bleed
I like alcohol and weed but I hate cocaine and speed
Greed turns me off, as does jealousy and vengeance
When I do my taxes I claim zero dependents
I’m a Virgo so I’m loyal but commitment terrifies me
I love women but especially brunettes with brown eyes
See, I’m impulsive, diplomatic, charismatic. I like gettin' shit done
But most of all I’m about having fun. The ocean and the trees are my favorite
MCs
In high school it was the RZA before that it was Chuck D
I’m honest and hard working so yes you can trust me but I’m rebellious by
nature which makes cops wanna bust me
I must be lucky that I never caught an STD and, oh yes, I do go to the Free
Medical Clinic frequently
I like to say 'I eat emcees and kill emcees', but really I’m just fed up
because they’re boring
In short: I just don’t feel emcees. Real emcees to me are real people who live
life just to enjoy, and never say 'Holler at your boy'
I’m easily disappointed and I’m overly optimistic. I fancy myself as sort of a
spiritual mystic
I’m not materialistic but I love my MPC-1000 and my record collection more than
my best friends
My mother and my father have given me so much love and unconditional support
that I could never thank 'em enough
My Dad put me through college. He said, 'Son, you gotta do this one thing for
me, and then after that, you’re free.'
So I did it. I got myself a college degree. I studied acting, art, religion,
and philosophy
There was no stopping me. I was ready for the world
But then I started falling in love with crazy young girls
So many hours spent screamin' and cryin'. Heads and hands goin' through walls.
I kept tryin'
To make sense of it all. My brain was fryin' so I had to give it up because
myself I was denyin'
Now I’m flyin' across the country in a new van. The Iowan American Anglo-Saxon
human
Doin' it for you and you and you and you man. Check my tour schedule for when
I’m comin' through man
So fuck a day job and fuck a wack-ass stage show. I’m working my ass off even
if I don’t get paid, yo
So fuck a dollar bill. I do this for the love and the experience,
but also for the free drinks and drugs