Gestures

Is it really important not to lie
To speak so that everything rings true
Can one live without lying and quibbling and making excuses
Isn’t it better to be lazy, lax, and deceitful
My words mean nothing like you
People like you can’t be reached
I wonder whether madness isn’t in fact the worst kind
You act healthy, act it so well that everyone believes you
Everyone except me
Because I know how rotten you are
I am
The vertigo and the constant hunger to be exposed
To be seen through, perhaps even wiped out
Every inflection and every gesture is a lie
Every smile a grimace
Suicide is too vulgar
But refuse to move, to talk, so that you don’t have to lie
I want to leave it as I have left my other parts one by one