The Joke

I know I’ve let you down,
But I don’t know how to be what you want me to be.
If I could only find my groove,
I could make my mark.
So I chop and change
To find my place,
But every move made is just another mistake.
I know you saw potential,
But your son is falling apart.
If I went straight
I might go far,
But I can’t fucking stand things the way they are.
I’ve been told, «Slow and steady is the only way to win.»
They might be right,
But I can’t slow down.
My youth has fled.
Still I can’t sow down.
Have I failed?
Have I missed my chance?
Everything tried, left undone by half.
I know the jokes on me,
But should I cry or should I laugh?
I was never meant to win.