I.D.F.T. (The Secret Track)

Umm, let’s see…
Okay, so one night I took an incredibly long shower to shave every inch of my
goddamn body (Ooh)
Probably an hour and a half
And then I started the very intricate, pain staking process of doing the douche
(The docuhe?)
All in preparation for a wonderful gentleman who I had met on the internet
Craigslist, to be exact (Who's Craig?)
I put on my very best, clean, brand fresh and new come hither lingire and
waited for him perched
And I’m checking the clock
He’s 20 minutes late, 30 minutes late
That muthafucker never shows up
Thank god he didn’t, because while I was checking for another date at the
computer, I farted and a whole bunch of douche water came out of my ass
(Outta my ass, outta my ass, outta my ass)
(Out, out, outta ass)
(Out, out, outta, outta, outta…)
Girl…
I douched for this?!
(I douched for this?)
(I, I, I douched for this?)
(I, I, I douched for this?)
(I, I, I douched for this?)
(I fucking douched for this?)
Save your excuses I don’t need them
Flush your complaining down the toilet
Do you need a towelette cause I’m fucking wrecked
It ain’t for my own good
You supposed to throw out my back
The only reason I bothered with that
Juicy like toffee unwrapped
No side dish for you to savour with that, oh
(Oooh, till the water runs clean) My fleet was ready
But you ain’t steady
My engine revving
Can’t reach ascension
(Oooh, till the water runs clean) I flushed your demons
Preparing heaven
My gate’s wide open, oh
I should’ve known that you would let me down
I should’ve known you’d find some body else in town
I should’ve saved my insides from drowning out
I don’t know why, it happens every time I
(Oooo why you wasting my time?)
It happens every time I
(Ooo why you wasting my time?)
Happens every time I douche
(Ooo why you wasting my time?)
It happens every time I douche
(Ooo why you wasting my time?)
It happens every time I douche
(I, I, I douched for this?)
(I, I, I douched for this?)
(I, I, I douched for this?)
(I fucking douched for this?)
Save your excuses I don’t need them
Flush your complaining down the toilet
Do you need a towelette cause I’m fucking wrecked
It ain’t for my own good
(I fucking douched for this?)