Married Man

I’ll be discreet
I won’t hiss at your wife when I see her
And though I’d love to be her
She’ll never know it
I’ll take the pill
I won’t upset the boat you’re rowing
Carry on the way you’re going
I won’t blow it
When baseball’s on
You can turn my set louder
You can rave all night
About your wife’s clam chowder
I’m sure it can work out just right
Don’t mind being the candle you sometimes light
Married man
Yes we can
Won’t write things down
I’m not the type that keeps a diary
I know when to be fiery
Or plain placid
I won’t look crushed
When you say your wife is pretty
Bright, and very witty
Pass the acid
I won’t cry at all
When you walk right by me
I’d say you can’t lose
You’d be a fool
Come try me
She and I can cover each move
One will be on heat
While the other’s subdued
Married sir
Me and her
Won’t call your club
And I’ll never drive through Oyster Bay, dear
I won’t give you away, dear
To your Bernice, love
If you should die
I won’t attend the funeral service
No need to look so nervous
Rest in peace, love
When Christmas comes
I’ll choose your gifts and wrap 'em
When we make plans
I won’t scream when you scrap 'em
There is nothing I wouldn’t do
I’ll be the perfect little mistress for you
Grant my wish
Married dish