Sleepwalker

Laying in my bedroom once again
Rubbing my eyes to relieve the strain
The light illuminates my face
As the screen casts shadows on the wall
Once again I’m drawn back to that place
Where everything seems fine
I shouldn’t have shut you out
Now all I want is to see you
And to hear your voice again
I haven’t seen the sun in so long
I’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel warm
The only light I see
Is this lonely screen that lulls me to sleep
I keep expecting it to take away these feelings
But it never does a single dose of healing
And if I’m meant to be a shell
Then why do I have this soul in the first place?
Waking up is hard for me now
(Where am I going? Where have I been?)
I can’t pick myself up off the ground
(What are these feelings that I don’t understand?)
And I’ve been waiting
And praying
(For your hands to pick me up again.)
But waking up is hard for me now
You told me that it’s alright
And all will be well if I can focus and clear my mind
But I just can’t do this anymore
I’ll suffer so you don’t have to
Isn’t that what love is for?
Waking up is hard for me now
(Where am I going? Where have I been?)
I can’t pick myself up off the ground
(What are these feelings that I don’t understand?)
And I’ve been waiting
And praying
(For your hands to pick me up again.)
But waking up is hard for me now
This is not where I want to be
So I’m going to keep on fighting
But I’m stuck between the nightmares
And a waking isolation
Waking up is hard for me now
(Where am I going? Where have I been?)
I can’t pick myself up off the ground
(What are these feelings that I don’t understand?)
And I’ve been waiting
And praying
(For your hands to pick me up again.)
But waking up is hard for me now
I’ve been so shattered
And I don’t want you to watch me bleed
If I can’t fix myself
How can I be what you need?