The Big Surprise.

I am back. This time, I’m the big surprise
And I’m hiding behind your sofa
I’m the culture shock. Temporary block
And I’ll love you for the next five minutes
I’m your magazine, 'cos you read me clean
Without taking any time for pictures
I’m your hand grenade and your lemonade
'Cos I’ll blow up and leave you soured
Find somebody with a working' car and drive them crazy, too
The big surprise is me!
I worked extra hard to pick your birthday card
You just threw it out and kept my money
I got up at six to make your favorite dish
So I sank when you said you weren’t hungry
Filed your tax return, let some candles burn
Played Mozart to make your plants grow
Then I clipped the trees, got down on my knees
Not to work, just to pray you’d see me
Find somebody who will paint your house, and gloss them over, too