The Pilgrimage

Kubla Kahn swooned and fixed his stare upon the dome his dreams created
All the while demon lovers sang of mount Abora and wailed under waning moon
All the while I was juxtaposed the instinct of life and death
And threefold circles were woven around
In clusters jarring seeds impinge on Kubla’s works
And the skeptical chemist is forever in doubt
Of the portents of doom and misfortune written on the wall
If you were to die today where would you spend eternity
Mene, mene, mekel, upharsin
I wish I could say that it just left completely but, no there are times where I
still do have the old compulsions. I was branching out that’s when the
cannibalism started. Eating of the heart and the arm muscle. It was a way of
making me feel that they were a part of me. At first it was just curiosity,
and then it became compulsive. Then I tried to keep the person alvie by
inducing a zombie like state. By injecting, first a dilute acid solution in
theuir brain, or hot water, and it never did completely work
Could someone like you be stopped? Could you be helped?
No I was dead set on going with this compulsion. It was the only thing that
gave me any satisfaction. To this day I don’t know what started it.
And the person to blame is sitting right across from you, that’s the only
person. Not parents, not society, not pornography. I mean those are just
excuses
The night of the arrest I have no memory of what happened during the six hours
before the last victim ran out of the apartment. I heard a knock on the door,
and the police were there with the last victim. They asked me where the key
was to the handcuffs. My mind was in a haze, I sort of pointed to the bedroom,
and that’s where they found the pictures
I was handcuffed, and it was just the realization that there was no point in
trying to hide my actions any more. The best route was to help the police
identify all the victims, and just make a complete confession
If there’s somebody out there watching this, who hasn’t done that,
hasn’t kill people, but wants to and rages inside, and struggles with that
feeling, or is so sure they have it under control. It doesn’t know when to quit,
and it can’t be stopped easily, once it starts