Hindsight

Jesse killed himself
And I don’t know how he did it
And I don’t know how to miss him
Cause we haven’t talked since
Jesse kissed me on the mouth
And I said «Jesse, I don’t feel that way about you.»
And I will not think about
Jesse’s crappy minivan
Or skipping class to play guitars
Or inventing secret handshakes
And I will not think about
The way that I stopped answering his calls
Someone should shake that kid
Someone should wake him up
Someone should hold him like I said I never would
But even if they did
Would it have been enough?
Oh, all the hindsight in the world can’t do Jesse any good
Well, Jesse killed himself
And I cannot get to sleep
I’ve been lying here for hours but I wouldn’t call it grief
'Cause Jesse did what he did and it was not about me
And that’s the story I will stick with
Oh, I’ve got to believe it
And I will not think about
How it doesn’t make much sense
How one morning Jesse’s breathing and the next he is past tense
And how it all amounts to picking out a black dress
And talking quietly
To people from my high school
Someone should shake that kid
Someone should wake him up
Someone should hold him like I said I never would
But even if they did
Would it have been enough?
Oh all the hindsight in the world can’t do Jesse any good
I wanna shake that kid
I wanna wake him up
I wanna hold him like I said I never would
But I’m a hypocrite and these are crocodile tears
Cause all the sorrow in the world can’t do Jesse any good
Well, Jesse killed himself
And I don’t know how to feel
It’s like the time between a punch and a bruise
And I am mad as hell and this isn’t an excuse
But Jesse, living is the hardest thing
Anyone has ever tried to do