Family Functions

Now that you are my most special one
And you know we’ve already gone to the prom
Won’t you come with me to family functions?
Won’t you be the one that I’ve got on my arm?
It’s not every boy who brings me broken arrows
It’s not every boy who brings me bottled rain
Won’t you come with me to family functions?
You will see then that I’m not really to blame
Grandpa Earl runs his own kosher fish store
Uncle Max was in the Mob
Cousin Lester married a shiksa
Crazy Aunt Ingas can’t find a job
Ingas, oh pingas, you’re my favorite
Great Grandpa Joey choked on a prune
Cute little Bunny, all in her party dress
?? Uncle Tony, she’s a bride in June
«He's a nice Jewish boy,» they will say
But the truth is that I knew it all along
Won’t you come with me to family functions?
You had better, 'cause I wrote you this damn song