If I Had a Woman

She’s got the personality of Darth Vader
And the mentality of a sixth grader
I better get her now, while I still hate her
The way I hated you
While she still just a hole to crawl into
And I’ve still got my pride
But if I had a woman
If I had a woman that I could abuse
If I had a woman that I could cruel to
Wish I had a woman that I could refuse
And then I guess that I’d be satisfied
Why does she have to be more than just a pair of legs?
And why can’t I let her be just another fertile egg?
I better get her now before I have to beg
The way I did before
While I’ll still take any port in a storm
And I’ve still got my pride
But if I had a woman
If I had a woman that I could annoy
If I had a woman to take all the lashes
I wish I had a woman that I could destroy
'Cause then I guess that I’d be satisfied
Oh God, somebody send me a woman
'Cause I need a woman that I can despise
I need a woman that I can tear limb from limb
I need a woman to listen to lies
And then I guess that I’ll be satisfied
Satisfied
Then I guess that I’ll be satisfied