Santa Got Arrested

There won’t be any presents this Christmas
No goodies in your stocking
The milk and cookies that the children left out
Will be left untouched beside the sink
The reindeer will be staying in their pens this year
The elves haven’t built anything
Cuz Santa got arrested last Christmas Day
The Police got calls on 911
About a red-suited man who weighed a ton
There was a clear trail of evidence pointing North
It was the seventh time this happened on December twenty-fourth
The Mounties reached the North Pole
They found it was outside the jurisdiction
They called up inter-polish Finnish Police
To facilitate the suspect’s extradition
They knocked on the door of a well marked shop
With a warrant for the owner’s apprehension
Then Santa got arrested Christmas Day
Santa was charged with B&E
His council advised he plee guilty
There was footage of the crime running on TV
And photographs of little children sitting on his knee
The judge expressed concerned about the risk of recitizenism
His sentence was commuted
He got a bond, a non-association with the elves
And his reindeer licence was suspended
He says he’s giving up all his former life
And now he wants to be a dental assistant
Cuz Santa got arrested
Santa got arrested
Santa got arrested last Christmas Day