Dating Game featuring Tim Meadows, Hines Buchanan and introducing Neelam (Amended Skit)

Talk show host:
And we’re back. Alright Becky, before our handsome bachelors reveal themselves
You have one last question to ask before you decide to go on that big date
Becky:
OK. Handsome bachelor number one
On our first date, where would you take me and how would you try to impress me?
Bachelor 1 (Jay-Z):
So that’s a… that’s a good question ma
This is what I would do to impress you
Well first of all, you know where I might take you?
I might take you over Dame’s house
Becky:
Oh, really?
Bachelor 1:
Cus my girl’s at the crib. And… then what I would do is…
I’d get you the finest drink, of course it’s gonna have ice in it
And I don’t mean frozen water… huh, ya know?!
Becky:
That’s so sweet
Bachelor 1:
And uh… what else would I do to really…
I’d take you to Rodeo Drive, of course. Of course
Becky:
I love Rodeo
Bachelor 1:
Ima take you to Rodeo and show you all the beautiful stores
And what you could have if your record goes number one like mine haha
That’s what I would do to… pretty impressive ain’t it?
Becky:
OK, sounds like fun
Same question, handsome bachelor number two
Bachelor 2 (RZA):
Yo, to impwess you to take you out on a perfect womantic date
My idea for that is… to pick you up in a Wu mobile, bwought to you by Cwysler
Becky:
A Wu mobile?
Bachelor 2:
You know, the cowabowation, that we just came wit
And den, I take you upstate, to the amusement park, Wu-tang amusement parks
Becky:
Ooh, I love parks!
Bachelor 2:
Word, we wide all kinda wollercoasters and fewwis wheels
Becky:
Mm, that’s my favorite!
Bachelor 2:
Eat all kinda cotton candy, popcorn and shit
And den, to welax you, or you know, give you a beauty treatment
I’ll take you down to the Wu spa
We got all the special manicuwists out there, you know, putting it down
Becky:
Sounds good
Bachelor 2:
And to end all the night, you know, maybe we’ll have a womantic dinner
Order out some Chinese food fwom Wu delivewy. We dewiwer 24 hours a day
Word. Just call us on the tewephone, hit me, or…
Or you could hit me on the 2-way, or Bwackbwewwy account
Becky:
Wow! That maybe difficult to top!
What would you do handsome bachelor number three?
Bachelor 3 (Ladies' Man):
Yeah, listen. Can you repeat that question again please?
Becky:
Oh, ok. You want me to repeat the question?
OK, on our first date, where would you take me and how would you try to impress
me?
Bachelor 3:
That is a very good question. Heh, you’re very charming
Becky:
Thank you!
Bachelor 3:
Well, on the first date with me is… is very exciting
I would, of course, take you wherever you wanted to go
If the plans was up to me, I would take you… to uh… to NASA
Becky:
Lovely!
Bachelor 3:
What we would do is we would take a trip up that elevator
And we would go and look at the stars, and I will pack us a picnic basket
Becky:
Sweet
Bachelor 3:
And I would have us all kinds of… alcohol beverages
I would whip out… that’s right… I would whip out a diamond necklace
Put it around you sweet, skinny neck
And touch you in places that no doctor has ever discovered on you before
Becky:
Wow
Bachelor 3:
And then I would slowly caress your breasts
Work my way down to your… sweet lovin thighs, and then…
Talk show host:
OK, time’s up
We’ll find out your answer, Becky, after this commercial break