Santa Up, Devil Down

Reggie:
Ladies and gentlemen
Please put your hands together
For the one
The only
Mr. Xavier
«Get right with God»
Hawthorne!
Reverend Hawthorne:
Brothers and sisters let me just bend your ear
I’m here to tell a tale we can only say once a year
Some of you know but I’m guessing most of you do not
A little story about a husky red hero, a personified toys for tots
Oh but it’s not all fun and games you see
Cause a horny red devil loves to spread misery
He don’t like it none when Santa spreads his cheer
And that’s one reason we keep him far away from here
He’s a big ball of evil with a horned sharp tail
(Santa up, devil down)
World went to heaven, sent straight from hell
(Santa up, devil down)
But he ain’t no match for this thing called love
(Santa up, devil down)
That our cheddar old face sent straight from above
(Santa up, devil down)
Santa up
Devil down
Better watch that ass
Santa Claus in town
He’s got a list
He’s checked it twice
Now it’s time for the devil to
Pay the price
Santa up
Devil down
Santa up
Devil down
Reverend:
Oh, we’re coming for you, devil
Watch it
We’re gonna lay it on you, y’all
Now our little buddy Santa with his beard so white
Ain’t gonna let the devil go without a hell of a fight
(Ooh no he won’t)
But the devil’s so crafty, so angry, so mean
He loves to fight dirty, he ain’t never fought clean
(Ooh he fights dirty, dirty)
Beelzebub laughs with evil in his eyes
He’ll knock your granny down and make your babies cry
(Ooh not baby Jesus)
Yes
So he waits in the dark til he sees we’re a flight
And kids let’s you know that it’s time for a fight
It’s good for seal, the grandest of signs
Let’s hear Father Christmas kick the devil’s behind
Santa up
Devil down
Better watch that ass
Santa Claus in town
He’s got a list
He’s checked it twice
Now it’s time for the devil to
Pay the price
Santa up
Devil down
Santa up
Devil down
Reverend:
Now Satan he tries not to get in the neck
But he ain’t no match for that santy-cat
Coming at ya
He flies through the air
So wholesome, so quick
Every present he gives a kick to devil dick
(Ooh preach it)
So if you see Santa’s ass this Christmas Eve
Give him a hug and cookies straight from Calvary
Santa’s so damn jolly
Lucifer just walks away
But only if you say Merry Christmas
Never happy holidays
Santa up
Devil down
Better watch that ass
Santa Claus in town
Santa’s mean
With a bag full of tricks
Now it’s time to turn in and bless the sticks
Santa up
Devil down
Singer:
Hey!
Reverend:
Yes?
Singer:
You can’t forget about Jesus
Reverend:
Oh, what’s this now? I would never
Don’t forget about baby Jesus
Reverend:
My favorite threesome is the holy trinity
Christ!