Isn't Clear

Yo, I’m spinning out, running rings around the room
Trying to settle down, but everything’s about to move
Life’s inpermanent, my dead skin’s merging into earth again
Yet still I’m back to work again
Running from the future, hiding from the past
Face bears a clue, had to disguise it with a mask
Could it be the stubbornness that’s driving us apart?
But without that surely I would disembark
(…), into the cold night
Hold tight to an old shrine, roll dice
I’ve been gambling my whole life — oh my goodness
The good ship lost at sea; there’s no light
Will the pain ever disappear? What am I missing here?
Still thinking, and still sitting here
With only silence for answers;
I laugh as my anger resides in the darkness
(My anger resides in the darkness x2)
(Yeah. Didn’t disappear. Look)
Didn’t disappear, still sitting here
Am I happy or sad, it still isn’t clear
No fakeness, only realism here
And if you didn’t catch that, then listen here (x2)
(My mistakes.)
Once again I sit wide awake
In the dark, This is the only time I take
Putting wrinkles on my face, I slide away
Into another room, looking for the light again
I’m in pain, think I might die again
Drama, I know, my mind (has) gone too far
(Dumb fuck) No I’m not, you are!
Shit. But I’m the only here
The lonely one here, with only one fear
Fear, I’m feeling it but can’t shake it
Back on medication, feeling wasted
Even sound redundant to myself as I’m saying it
Dig a grave and I lay in it
Dig? attention? — I fight from it
Aligning with the fire in the fiber’s
In the tip of a dynamite stick; now I’m lit (lit, lit, lit)
Temper raging, it’s racing its way through my veins and I’m pacing
Man, it’s nothing but the same thing
Up in the cycle trying to break it
Or maybe I’m just fake trying to change it
Will the pain ever disappear? What am I missing here?
Still thinking, and still sitting here
With only silence for answers;
I laugh as my anger resides in the darkness
Didn’t disappear, still sitting here
Am I happy or sad, it still isn’t clear
No fakeness, only realism here
And if you didn’t catch that, then listen here (x2)